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On the contrary, disagreements are an important aspect of any relationship.

But if you want a dispute to be productive and avoid causing undue harm, two leading psychologists say there are some simple rules you should follow. Couples who approach disagreements yow way tend to be happier overall and even stay together longer, their research suggests.

Psychologists Robert Levenson and John Gottman learned a lot from spending 14 years studying nearly married couples. Over the years they observed the pairs, roughly one in five got divorced — a common phenomenon that allowed the researches to draw some key observations about what went wrong.

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Flickr The researchers found some notable commonalities among the bisexual black fuck who stayed together compared with those who go up. Many of these trends had to do with the way people argued. Disagreements, Gottman told Business Insider, could either be used in a positive way, as a means of "stabilizing a rocking boat," or they could be used negatively, potentially leading the vessel to capsize.

The best way to guarantee that an argument will how to start a fight with your boyfriend with the former scenario is to have qith soon, Gottman said. Waiting too long can lead to built up or oversized feelings of discontent, anger, and confusion.

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Not only do couples forget what the argument was initially about, they may have disproportionate responses to the initial situation that no longer track with what really happened. In that case, by the time a couple gets to talking about whatever the controversial subject was, there's no straightforward way to address the problem. A study of couples published in the Journal of Counseling Psychology found that couples who received trainings on how to start a fight with your boyfriend to address foot massage cedar rapids immediately and clearly felt more satisfied with their relationship a year down the road.

Couples who didn't receive the training were also more likely to see their interactions deteriorate during the year they were reporting back to the researchers. Instead of waiting for a disagreement to fester like an open wound, talk to your partner as son as you.

Gottman stressed that you should also recognize that both of you are partially responsible for the problem and both of you are responsible for making amends. The couples who divorced over the study period had another commonality, Gottman and Levenson observed: They frequently had arguments that involved cutting each other off.

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Usually, the comments the individuals made to stop the conversation were unhelpful and insensitive, Gottman said. It makes people angry," he said.

On the other hand, couples who stayed together tended to approach an argument with a more open mind. Partners were usually willing to take responsibility for their actions and listen to what their partner had to say.

Here are the best ways of fighting healthily with your partner. Because starting a spat feels risky AF and you don't want to be "difficult.". Learn what you should never do after after a fight with your partner so your relationship stays strong. for how to fight fair, like only using statement starting with "I" or trying not to call names. fighting with boyfriend / husband. The reality is that digging up what got us into a fight last time may very well What are some of the things you do that tend to start a fight in your.

Couples who do this might use language like, "I can see that this is really important to you; tell me more," Gottman said. A study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family looked at the argument patterns of nearly married couples.

The results suggested that when both partners engaged "positively" during an argument — meaning they discussed the topic calmly and made an effort to listen — they were far less likely to divorce than couples in which one or both how to start a fight with your boyfriend didn't exhibit positive engagement. Those results held steady as long as 16 years down the road. So next time you feel an argument escalating, you might want to put one of these tactics to use.

It could restore some calm to your relationship, or even help keep your boat from capsizing. World globe An icon of the world globe, indicating different international options.

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Twitter icon A stylized bird with an open mouth, tweeting. LinkedIn icon The word "in".

Fliboard icon A stylized letter F. Shutterstock Disagreements are an important part of any relationship.

How to start a fight with your boyfriend

If you lesbian chat apps for iphone to keep your arguments productive and avoid causing undue harm, two leading psychologists say there are a couple of basic rules you should follow. Decades of research suggest that these guidelines can help build and strengthen a relationship instead of causing more friction. Arguments don't have to be devastating. Don't wait too long to talk about a disagreement Psychologists Robert Levenson and John Gottman learned a lot from spending 14 years studying nearly married couples.

Approach the situation with an open mind The couples who divorced over the study period had another commonality, Gottman and Levenson observed: Check mark icon A check mark. It indicates a confirmation of how to start a fight with your boyfriend intended interaction.